I'm in need of a hug.........

Warning: This post is a rather depressing one, I hate Saturdays....as a matter of fact I hate weekends, so if you like happier things then I am suggesting that you read something else.

It's been about an hour since I last cried. For others it's probably years, months, weeks or a few good days, but not for me. At least not for today. (the scent of this setting lotion is getting to me). Nehuz.....I sat there for about 10 minutes thinking. (Obviously, because I was neither dead nor sleeping.....lol....). I thought about school, the future, respect, my birthday, and so on, as this oh so wonderful cream was applied to my hair.

Within a few minutes the beautiful hair that God has blessed me with was gone thanks to these lethal weapons, and as my hair transformed into something undesirable, it felt as tho' the cream was penetrating my skull. I looked at it in the mirror and I thought "Oh God....this is the last....mark my words...."

Nehuz, life goes on. I baked a cake. Besides the fact that it reminds me of box-cake, it came out pretty good. I don't really like it though, only because it tastes like box-cake. Want a slice? *waits for an answer* Thought so......

The hardest thing in life to search for, in my opinion, is yourself.

I'm looking for me. It would help a great deal if I only knew who 'me' is. 'Me' is a girl who doesn't know what she wants in life. That girl doesn't know what road to chose. That girl has given up on things that once seemed so important to her and at the same time she wants to prove that she is capable of being successful academically. But so many things have gone wrong that at this time she fells differently towards almost everything. That girl is tired of living the life that is being planned out by inhumane beings. That girl wants to walk on her own with motivation, guidance and God by her side, instead of being pushed, shoved, forced towards a dream that isn't her own. She feels like a big doll who is able to walk and talk like humans do, but as we all know dolls have no brains and are so incapable of thinking for themselves.

I think that that's enough for tonight. Tuesdays were once my gloomy days, but the more dominant Saturdays have conquered.

Yes I'm depressed and I'm not ashamed to say that. It happens to us at one point. I'll get over it. Just give me, or it, two more days and I'll be happy again. It takes me four days to get over this phase, strange enough. Good. That means that I'd enjoy that glorious day. I want to and so I shall, even if it means hiding my treasure.

OMG! I'm not even excited. Nothing big. I don't even feel like doing anything at all. Woopey I'm going to be 18. Yay!!!! *shakes head* Nothing significant. Nothing is going to change......let's wait and see............

I shall pray tonight for the well being of myself and others and I encourage you to do the same.

In need of a hug.

Ciao...c ya whenever....

*~*Fayt*~*