Music Video: "Walking on air"- Kerli

Music Video: "Love in this club"- Usher ft. Young Jeezy

See you next year

From the day I developed long term memory to now, I have never had a worst day......

I fought the hardest battle today and I lost. I let a stupid hard Math exam defeat me. I gave up because I had no ounce of determination left in me to try. I was too frustrated and saw an attempt at answering any more questions as being futile. I just could not figure out what the answers were even if I knew how to solve a part of them.....I fought and I lost oh well............

It's the first time in my life that I have failed a subject unintentionally. The first time I failed a subject was waaaaay back in Form 3 and that was History. I refused to study and I got...well I fail....and that was only because I wanted the teachers to have no choice but to send me the 4Science because I did not want to do History for CXC..dey ain mus send me 4S.

So far I have heard no positive comment about the Cape Advanced Level Math exam. Trust me, if any of us did, that person was going to reeeeealy get it. The air around us baked in anger and iced with a few tears, a cup of f-notes and hints of frustrated 'You ain't seeing me again's. However laughter was the key ingredient. We scared some students, for after writing the worst exam in history we were laughing as if the world existed without Math. Plans were made to drive a bus next year, and the driver and conductor for "Hard ass" were assigned. The little man would be the conductor because he takes up less space and that means more people can be squeezed into the van, more money could be made and the funny man would be the driver, because it was his idea.

Students were even celebrating and making the best of the moment as though it was their last day at College....you never know for some it just might be.....

Some day this will really hit me. Someday I am going to sit in silence think about what really happened today. Someday I'm going to bawl. Someday I'm going to crash. God has a plan and I believe that I needed to fail. I know that I said that I was motivated yesterday to do work but that motivation came on a little too late. I needed to fail because I needed something drastic to kick me back on track of my goals. I have strayed so much off the road, for this term, that I just couldn't get myself out of the mud.

I'm out of the mud now and I'm awake. I'm nearer to the road.

When I thought that I was finally getting a weight off my sholder I just double it.


Anyways see you next year "Hard ass" Math exam

Music Video and lyrics: "Forever"- Chris Brown

Hey.. forever
Hey Heey Forever

It's you and me
Moving at the speed of light into eternity, yeah
Tonight is the night
To join me of the middle of ecstasy
Feel the melody and the rhythm of the music go 'round you Go 'round you
I'ma take you there..
I'ma take you there
So don't be scared when I'm right here, baby
We can go anywhere.. go anywhere
But first it's your chance to take my hand come with me

It's like I waited my whole life for this one night
It's gon be me, you, and the dance floor
'Cause we only got one night
Double your pleasure double your fun
And dance forever ever-ever
Forever ever-ever
Forever ever-ever (Forever)
Forever ever-ever
Forever ever-ever
Forever ever-ever
Forever on the dance floor

Feel like we're on another level, girl
Feels like our love's intertwined
We can be two rebels
Breakin' the rules me and you, you and I
All you gotta do is watch me [watch me]
Look what I can do with my feet [my feet]
Baby feel the beat inside
I'm drivin' you can take the front seat [ front seat]
Just need you to trust me [trust me]
Girl... girl... girl It's like I..

It's like I waited my whole life for this one night
It's gon be me, you, and the dance floor
'Cause we only got one night
Double your pleasure double your fun
And dance forever ever-ever
Forever ever-ever
Forever ever-ever (Forever)
Forever ever-ever
Forever ever-ever
Forever ever-ever
Forever on the dance floor

It's a long way down it's so high off the ground
Sending for an angel to bring me your heart
Girl where did you come from?
Got me so undone
Gazing your eyes got me saying
What a beautiful lady no ifs, ands or maybes
I'm releasing my heart and spirit amazing
There's no one else that matters you love me
And I won't let you fall girl, let you fall girl

It's like I waited my whole life for this one night
It's gon be me, you, and the dance floor
'Cause we only got one night
Double your pleasure double your fun
And dance forever ever-ever
Forever ever-ever
Forever ever-ever (Forever)
Forever ever-ever
Forever ever-ever
Forever ever-ever
Forever on the dance floor

Math Exam

What's the worst thing that can happen to you during an exam? Apart from seeing things for the first time in your life and realizing that you are about to fail......

Earlier this afternoon while I was guessing an answer for my Math Unit 1 Multiple Choice Paper, using the ever so famous Eeenie meeenie miney moo children elimination game, I was rudely interrupted by the noisy crowd that gatherd just a few yards from my exam room. How am I supposed to know which answer the lady in the big read hat chose for me? Now why was this crowd gathered here? Only four things quickly gather a crowd at my College; free things, a dance off, an accident and a quarrel. Quarrels often end up in fights, like the one that let my poor rabbit away.

I recently realized (like a few days ago...4 to be exact) that I have a snogging limit...Oh dear me...Ah vex ana....You might be wondering what a snogging limit is but in simply terms it's when kissing turns ugly. Poor me had to find that out the hard way. I'm there, you know, enjoying myself, (lovely afternoon that was), with this random guy (BTW Random guy= guy who's not my boyfriend), and I stopped to take a breather because I mean, I had to gasp for air. Random guy #1 was just leaving me breathless you see. That's when I realized that the my main ingredient to my afternoon snack was a little bit too tender to touch. After a closer examination, I realized why. I just told Random guy #1 to get lost because I was full. Had a wee bit too much desert that day. I just have to take them in smaller portions next time.



I saw a Halo (a really cool sky phenomenon) today but unfortunatley I didn't have my camera with me and when I called Leona, my best friend, she didn't have hers either. Well that sucks. Below is a picture of one waaaaay back in High School (a year ago).

If you notice there's a dark cloudy area around the sun that is encircled by a ring of the rainbow colours. Not sure what type of coulds they are, but you can always google it and find out if you're interested in nature's cool phenomena.

Bus stop!!!!

“Bus stop. Bus stop! Ah say fo leave me here by the gap dey. Right here. Ey! Buh way me a see ya? Lef me here!!!!” a female passenger cries.

'Why didn’t the minibus stop?' That was the question that was on the tippy top of each passenger’s head in that minibus, including mine. I thought to myself “What really goin on here?” We later learnt that the driver of a popular 'College' minibus could not stop because he was trying to get the attention of the lady who was crawling in the needle point car ahead of us.
When the driver finally came to a stop just seconds after the female passenger bellowed her requests, we all learnt that the minibus had been hit. (Yes I was in van that got hit by a car and I didn’t know until we stopped about 5 minutes later. You ain see I coulda dead and I ain’t even know). From the minibus, we could see the woman arguing, she’s frustrated and seems to be a little scared for her hands are everywhere. In contrast, the driver of the minivan seems calm but obviously angry. So who’s wrong? I tried to listen to their conversation but it was impossible to hear anything that was going on outside from where I was seated as the music was too loud (as usual). Hands in the air, heads bobbing, lips moving and Vybz Cartel in singing. I peered my head out of the window to see the damage but all I saw was a dirt less patch on the side of the van. (That’s it? You cannot be serious?)

I grabbed my bag and paid the conductor on my way out saying:

“Heh. Alyo does wuk hard”

“Yeah we does wuk hard” he replied.

By closer examination the car made a little dent accompanied by a long horizontal line above the wheel. That poor road horse. Paint expensive ana. So who is wrong?
Five minutes ago, a passenger stopped the minivan after it had passed the bus stop causing the van to be pulled aside else where (in the middle of the road before a crossing, then at a corner just a few feet away). That’s when the snail overtook us and drew a line on the poor road horse. So who is wrong? The driver who did not offload passengers at a bus stop (which is the passenger’s fault btw. The poor man forget where he goin), but made a bad stop at a corner? Or is it the snail who apparently bought her license?

Oh I don’t know who’s wrong. I don’t really care. I’m not affected really. I did dun pay my passage and I gone bout my business. Some passengers didn’t even pay!
Earlier today I found myself in front of a computer screen in the Computing Lab at College. Doing what? Playing the Impossible Quiz of course. I never thought that I would be like all those boys who just sit around all day playing Halo (Some game). The Impossible Quiz in addictive, pointless, very tricky, very dumb. The highest we got was #92 (that was me :D), before a bomb exploded. I did say that it was pointless. It taught us a valuable lesson today; and that’s teamwork. So it wasn’t all a waste of our precious time, we learnt to work as a team, and they don’t have one of those courses at College. Yovaz!
While I’m on the topic of learning, I’d like to say one thing: Guys say the weirdest things ever! Like today, I didn’t know that ‘tuff bubby’ existed. Did you? I mean how can a girl’s boobs be ‘tuff’ (tough)???? LMAO

I have a question. I was thinking what it was like to like someone who liked your best friend instead. I mean, how would you feel if you found out that he or she was calling your best friend and you were at home just day dreaming about him or her. That must hurt. Thank goodness I does only see that on tv.

Music Video: "Forever"- Chris Brown

Poem: Ruby

The ride home was long

Or so it seemed.

The call was unbelievable

But it was real

And it was no dream.

Unlike her body the air was cold.

I didn't touch her

I didn't look at her.

I said nothing.

I just sat there.

Just a mere foot from her body.

With only a board partitian separating us

And said nothing.

I remembered the day she had a stroke

Some years ago

When I was 6

After that she refused to walk or couldn't walk again.

I felt like that little girl again

Afraid to go and peep in the bedroom

Afraid that whatever was under that sheet

Would jump out at me and say "Boo"

Afraid that that memory of white and a distorted figure

Would stick with me through life

And haunt me constantly.

I knew myself.

I couldnt look at her face.

Not then

Not even at the funeral

I couldn't look at my dear Grandmother's face

Under that sheet or in that

Brown box when I know she's in heaven

Or right there looking down at us.

After an hour

She slowly went under

Whole 6ft

And dirt covered that brown box.

And I cried when no one else did

I cried because she's gone and she's not coming back

They didn't because she was 95

I know that she saw me

And she knows how much I miss her

And how much I hated to see them throw dirt on her

And take her to this deep dark hole

To Rest In Peace.
I never told her good bye

Because she'll never be truly gone.

In loving memory of my dear Granny Ruby. We miss you but we know that you're in a safer place.

Dream world....

8:40pm…Dream world

Throughout life, God introduces people to your life. He gave us the gift of choice therefore it is up to us to decide whether we keep these people in our lives or not. Some of us make good choices, others don’t. God has sent me my bff, Leona and xbf, Curtis, and today I realized that these are two people that I should really keep close to my heart.

Leona and I have had our downs, but true friends are those who can overcome that stage, make through the rough times together in one piece. Curtis on the other hand….let’s just say we are better as friends…Today Curtis told me that he dreamed that I had died and that he couldn’t save me because for some unfortunate reason he forgot how to save a life. I had stopped breathing. I was dead. (Let me remind you that I am talking about the dream here).

The strange thing is that less than 17 days ago Leona had a similar dream. She didn’t know how I had died. She didn’t know how and why she was the first in the school to know. She was looking for me at school although she knew that she’d never find me. Both dreams ended in tears (Real life and dream life). What on earth do these dreams mean? I am officially freaked out! It is said that when one dreams about such things something good is about to happen to the ‘dead’ person.

On the afternoon of the day Leona told me of the dream I received my camera (Finally!!!.........It pretty pink!!!). So does this mean that something good is about to happen as well some time soon. (I better play Lotto or 3D from tomorrow). No matter what I am a bit scared. Here’s my link between the two dreams….It appears as tho’ they are moving back in time. Like scenes of a movie from end to beginning. Curtis was at the scene of my death. He didn’t know how I died and exactly what caused me to stop breathing. (No air….love that song) He couldn’t save me. I died. For some strange reason Leona was the first to know of this sad news, but didn’t believe so went looking for me in school, no one could tell her where I was…she never found me.

I know these are just dreams but I’m a bit scared and saddened yet at the same time a little happy. What on earth is going on? The ironic thing about the dreams is that these two dreams appeared at times when I had been feeling great desires to die, don’t get me wrong, not to kill myself, just to die. I never told anyone this because I didn’t want anyone to worry about me. I wondered what the world would be like minus one. My thoughts were rather selfish because I only considered the effects on only one person; me. I hadn’t thought about my friends, and family. It seems as tho’ God is sending me messages (Unless I’m going mad). The people that care about me a lot would really miss me and it would be unfair to them just to even consider me not being here; that’s no the way to go. It is said that you never know what you have or how much something really means to you until it’s gone. Luckily in this case it was only a dream. We should thank God because tons of other people are not this fortunate. *sighs* (BTW I could really tek on a good long bump right about now man)

Another Day at College

1:30pm
Sitting in class recapping on the last 20 minutes of my life. I couldn’t really pay attention to my lecturer now could I? I have so much to think about….food….skankism…..hungry belly me…..relieve-my-stress-day…food…get the pic? Well unfortunately my appointment didn’t go so well, only because my specimen wasn’t a skank (like myself…thinking of entering the industry of skankism…don’t bother ask). Oh well look who’s here…..ok well I guess my day isn’t really over then…still have a chance.. 1:40pm Go bai bai. Ok nvm. Damnit. Well that sucks! Guess it isn’t really my day after all.

1:51pm
I’m hungry…oh there he is. You know what nevermind. I’m still in class. Stupid of me to skip lunch today. I think I’m hallucinating, cuz I’m sure my tummy just said “Grrrrrr”. I need food. See you later sir.

2:10pm

Reality check. What am I really thinking/doing???!!! More thinking tho I ain’t doing anything, unfortunately. Class is so boring…not really, idk. I not really paying attention. As usual. (singing to myself…..dream, dream, dream, dream….all I want to do is dream, dream, dream, dream)

11:28pm

Nice nap. As soon as I got home I went straight to my bed. I was really tired from doing only God knows. I felt vomitish too, ewe! I think I’m sick. Something is wrong. What on earth I going on in that grey matter of mine??!! OMG!! I think my nerve cells are having a fiesta up there because I am lost and confused no bogurs…. Today I realized how much control I really have on the way my body reacts to certain things….umm NONE (Am I supposed to have any at all?) I mean I know I was sitting next to this cute-just want to (shhh)-real sexy-dude, who was talking to me, although sometimes I couldn’t hear what he was saying because we were in class (I caught on afterwards tho’), but was that a good enough reason for my handwriting to degrade itself to the dogs or for my hands to shake so much while I was writing? I was like a washing machine, OH MY GOODIES! Or was it because my ex-boyfriend was in the same room with me? I’ll have the cute dude to go please.

Why can’t I be like an orangutan? I mean all they do is…and go bout dey business, no emotions involved what so ever. The females get pregnant tho’, that’s a downside. I think they should really consider using condoms (but then how their population would grow?...oh nvm then) Can’t really say that for humans because they already do (use condoms). Well maybe they should cut off their you-know-what (yeah after I’m done with it) so that our population would decrease and that would mean more food for me. Boy! I miss my counselor….Anyways I hope to be Rihanna in my next life and that’s only because I could get to bump Chris Brown whenever I please! I still love you!!!! It’s only because of CB ana cuz right about now I got more assets than her (top and bottom!) and my forehead ain’t so high. Plus there are tons of other people who have a wider singing range than she does. Unfortunately all those other singers don’t have CB soooo………………I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Chris Brown that is...who cares about anyone else???!!!!!)